Mallrats!
by Ryan Krupienski
Summary: My first-ever fanfic. It's over three years old, and it REALLY sucks. So why am I posting it? For flaming, of course! The story? Jubilee returns to the the mansion and drags the female X-Men to the mall - where they meet the lamest team of villains ever!


**Summary:** My first-ever fanfic. It's over three years old, and it REALLY sucks. So why am I posting it? For flaming, of course! The story? Jubilee returns to the the mansion and drags the female X-Men to the mall - where they meet the lamest team of villains ever!

**Notes:** This is the first fanfic I ever wrote. It was during the summer of 1998, I was 15, and... well, I sucked. Big time. I listed it as humor/horror because the crappyness will either make you laugh your ass off or make your eyes bleed. Don't ask me why I'm making a spectacle of myself by posting this... I guess I'm just crazy like that ^_^ I left it just as it was written, so there's bound to be some grammatical and spelling errors (though not too many, since I've always been pretty good at that stuff). This takes place right before the _Hunt For Xavier_ storyline. Please feel free to flame this crap as much as you want! I really want you to! Otherwise I wouldn't be posting it.

**Cast:** Storm, Wolverine, Rogue, Shadowcat, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Jubilee, Marrow, the Paste Squad (yes, I'm serious).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in this story, they all belong to Marvel. Well, wait a minute, I created the... uh... Paste Squad. Yeah. But, I don't want them, so they're up for grabs! And if you actually _want_ to use them, well, then I'm sorry, but you're mentally ill.

* * * * *

"Mallrats!"

* * * * *

She opened the tall wooden doors, and stepped inside the enormous mansion. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

Her earrings, which had her name on them, were dangling, and her dark, black, chin-length hair glittered in the sun's rays coming in through the windows.

"Yo, is there anyone here? Guess who's baaaaaaaaack!" she said sarcastically.

A tall African woman with long white hair started walking down the stairs. She looked at the girl with suprise, and with a smile.

"Jubilee!?!?! By the Goddess, what are you doing here? I did not know you were coming to visit! Why did you not call?" the woman exclaimed.

"Storm!" Jubilee ran over to her, dropping her bag, and gave Storm a hug.

"I am glad to see you, Jubilee. Why did you not call?" Storm asked.

Jubilee pulled away and replied, "Storm, I'm not just coming for a visit. I quit the Massachussets Academy and Generation X."

"Why, Jubilee? Is something the matter?" Storm inquired.

"No, I just got sick of it. I mean, I like it there and stuff, but I really miss this place. I miss the smell of my old room, rollerblading out in the courtyard, and I really miss you guys... especially you and Wolvie. He's still here, right?"

"Yes, Jubilee, he is. But, he is out right now, along with Peter and Kurt. Rogue and Kitty are here, I believe they are out on the grounds somewhere," Storm said.

"What?! The Ruskie, the elf, and Kit-Kat are back? Whoa! What about Hank? And Psylocke? Where are they all at?" Jubilee looked suprised. She knew that Storm would never forget to mention anyone.

"Well, there have been many departures in the last several weeks. Scott and Jean left and moved to Alaska. Cyclops is still recovering from his wounds inflicted by Bastion, and Jean has lost her powers. Robert has gone home to be with his ill father. Warren and Betsy have taken off to one of his estates. Betsy has lost her powers as well. Gambit and Bishop are still missing. Beast has left to parts unknown. And you might remember Maggott. He has left as well. As for Cecilia, whom you did not meet, she has set up a medical practice in Salem Center, and she has been giving us medical aid when needed. She helped Nightcrawler get better after he was wounded in our encounter with a group of mutants calling themselves X-Men," Storm finished her synopsis of recent events and took a deep breath.

"Whoa. And everyone thought I talked too much! So, what your sayin' is that it's just you, me, Wolvie, Rogue, Kitty, Elf, and the Ruskie? Wow, that's a small team!"

"Well, there is one that you left out. Marrow is on the team as well."

"What?!?!?! She tried to kill you! And she's on the team? Geez, talk about forgiving and forgetting!" Jubilee said.

"Well, enough talk. We can talk more later. Let us get you unpacked. Are you hungry at all? I could fix you something..."

"Nah! Let's go out! Have fun!" interupted Jubilee. "Let's grab Rogue and Kit-Kat and hit the mall!"

Storm looked worried. "*Sigh* I remember the last time I went to a mall with a group of woman friends."

"Yeah, you met me!" Jubilee peeped.

"All right, let us go gather them up, and go to the mall!"

"Yeah! Watch out mall, here I come!"

* * * * *

The four female X-Men - Storm, Shadowcat, Rogue, and Jubilee - arrived at the Weschester Mall. And of course, Jubilee's face light up with excitement.

"This is sooooo cool!" Jubilee yelled loudly with great enthusiasm. She hadn't been in a mall for what seemed like ages to her.

"Hey! It's Express! Oooh, they have some great clothes! C'mon, let's go in!"

"Hold up, sugah! Those prices in there are mighty high! Let's not go spendin' all our money on clothes!" Rogue said seriously.

"Oh, Rogue, we're not spending it all on clothes! There's other things too!" Jubilee sarcastically blurted out.

"Yeah, like CD's and magazines, and even some Leonardo DiCaprio posters!" Kitty said, trying to seem cool like Jubilee.

"Leonardo DiCaprio? PUH-leaze and a half. I'm more for... Brad Pitt! Don't try to act cool... after age 20, people go bland. 'Cept for Wolvie. And Storm. Ok, and maybe you too, Rogue."

"Well, thanks. Ah'm so glad that YOU think Ah'm cool!"

* * * * *

The four of them began to talk, about lots of different things. Woman things. They went through the whole mall, bought new clothes, books, little gadgets from specialty stores... whatever they wanted. After they finished shopping, they went to eat at the mall restaurant, California Cafe.

"Whoa! This place is soooo cool!" Jubilee exclaimed.

And it was. The walls and ceiling were all black, with stars and planets. It looked like outerspace in a way. The four of them ate, and talked. After two hours, they left, and went back out into the mall.

* * * * *

"Goddess, I am getting tired. We should leave now. I think we have no money left!" Storm said sleepily.

"Ororo's right. It's almost 9 o'clock. The mall is closing soon," Kitty said, in agreement with Storm.

"Ah'm tired too. Let's hightail it back on to the mansion," Rogue said.

"Oh come on! We've only been here seven hours!" Jubilee pleaded.

"Enough is enough, sugah," Rogue argued.

"Oh, all right..."

The four of them started walking to the entrance/exit by JC Penny's, when all of a sudden...

"Everyone stop where you are! We are Talon and Feen! You are now our hostages! Resist us and be vanquished!" shouted a short, frail man.

Next to him was a tall, heavy-set man. They both had on bright yellow costumes.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jubilee burst out laughing. "Oh-Oh my gawd! These guys are villains? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Crappy costumes? Bad posture? We'll kick their butts in two seconds!"

"Jubilation, hush! These men are serious. We do not know what kind of weapons they have, or how dangerous they actually are. We must stop them immediately and effectively, before anyone gets hurt."

"Oh, your not doin' anything, lady. Stand right there, or else!" yelled the tall, heavy-set man. "Make a move and you'll have to answer to me, Talon!"

"Oh puh-leaze! You guys are like, reject villain wannabes! What are ya gonna do, shoot us with your paste guns? Ooooh, I'm soooo scared!" Jubilee said sarcasticly.

"Jubilation!" Storm said firmly.

"Geez, why does everyone say my name like it means 'shut up'?"

"Well, Ah'm not gonna stand here and take this. Ah'm gonna show these boys how ta act like gentlemen, even if Ah have ta pound it into 'em!" Rogue said, and she started to fly towards Feen.

"No way, broad!" he said. Feen shot a cluster of green goop out of his gun, hitting Rogue right in the stomach. She went flying into the wall.

"Rogue!" Kitty exclaimed. She phased and ran towards Talon, catching him off-balance. "You shouldn't play with guns!" she said.

"Jubilee, stay back!" Storm commanded, but as usual, Jubilee didn't listen.

"No way! Eat sparks, goop boys!" Jubilee sent many of her blinding plasmoids flying at Talon's face, as Storm sent lightning bolts in Feen's direction.

"Gaah! I can't see!" cried Talon, with his eyes covered. Kitty then became solid and kicked Talon's gun out of his hand, then knocked him on the head. He passed out.

"You filthy muties! You're gonna pay!" cried Feen angrily.

"I believe the only ones who are 'filthy' are you," said Storm, as she hurled lightning bolts at Feen, who was dodging them.

"Ah'll get 'em!" shouted Rogue, who flew right at Feen and punched him in the face. "That's for shootin' your goop at me!"

Feen and Talon were both down, unconsious.

"Hey! They're down! Feen and Talon are down!" cried a fat woman, standing in the middle of two other people, both men. "Mutants! Get 'em boys!" she commanded.

"Who are you?" Storm demanded, the two other men coming at her.

The fat woman turned to Storm. "I am Big Mama, and these two are Drake and Barker. Together, with Feen and Talon, we are: The Paste Squad!" bellowed Big Mama.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm Jubilee, and these other girls are Storm, Shadowcat, and Rogue. Together, we're the X-Men. Biiiiiiig mistake messin' with us, fatso!" Jubilee shouted at Big Mama.

Drake went after Rogue, and knocked her unconsious from behind. Barker went after Jubilee, smacking her with a glob of green goop.

"Rogue! Jubilee!" cried Storm. She hurled lightning bolts at Barker, hitting him in the gut.

Kitty went for Drake, and got him from behind as he had done to Rogue.

"You filthy muties! You may have defeated my Paste Squad, but you'll never defeat me!" screamed Big Mama.

"Oh yeah, blubberina?" said a familiar voice.

"What?" said Big Mama.

"Eat claw!" Big Mama fell to the floor. Standing there was Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler.

"Wolverine! Did you kill her?!" asked Storm sternly.

"Nope. Didn't want blubber on my claws. Just scraped her back," Wolverine replied.

"Wolvie!" shouted Jubilee, still bound to the floor by the green goop. Wolverine ran over to her and cut her free.

"Hey kid. What're you doin' here?" he asked.

"I'll tell ya later, Wolvie. How'd you find us?" inquired Jubilee.

"We heard there were some beautiful mutant women at the Salem Mall fighting some villains. We figured it vas you," answered Nightcrawler.

"Hold it! Everyone freeze! You, mutants, don't move!" he ordered.

"Officer, we are sorry for any damage we have caused. But this 'Paste Squad' was endangering innocent lives. They had to be stopped," argued Storm. 

"C'mon, give us a break! We haul your butts outta trouble all the time, and no one ever appreciates it!" Jubilee said.

"Sir, please. We're the X-Men. We didn't come here to fight or cause trouble. We just came to the mall to have a good time. That's all," pleaded Shadowcat.

"Hey, officer, they're right," called a man. "They saved us. The X-Men are heroes!"

People in the back began to cheer, except for the few who hated mutants. 

"All right, you're free to go. And thank you, for helping us. We have been after these guys for weeks!" the officer said.

"Let us all go home now. This has been a most interesting night," Storm said.

"Hey, did you guys notice something? We actually got credit for doing something good! Just think if this gets on the news! People won't hate us as much!" said Jubilee enthusiastically.

"You are right, little one. This night has not been so bad after all. We have defeated the threat, and walked away as heroes," Colossus replied.

"Well, I just say we go home now. We can talk about it there. Hey, what're you doin' here anyway, Jubilee?" Wolverine asked.

"Well, I left the Massachussets Academy. I'm moving back into the mansion. I'm rejoining the X-Men!" Jubilee said happily.

"That's great kid, just great," Wolverine said, with a smile on his face.


End file.
